|
| Relations in Relationships I
By K.C. Cheng
“Why?”
What is it about him that you are so attracted to? Is
it the way he treats you? No. He does not call, unless he wants
something, he does not appreciate, and he does not treat you how you
want to be treated. To be fair, it is almost impossible to have a guy
treat you exactly how you want, but he could try. And this is what gets
you: He does not try. This frustrates you. You are always asking, wait
not asking, begging for appreciation, willing to settle for any word or
sign of caring. Even the tiniest smile or an apathetic apology can keep
you sane for a few days, if not weeks. At this point, the thought of
him is no longer accompanied by fluttery euphoric emotions, like the
release of endorphins from the taste of that first piece of a dark
delicious chocolate melting in your mouth. Just thinking about those
times is enough to make you think “It will get better”. And so you hold
on. Letting your insecurities get the best of you. Constantly reminding
yourself that you are happy and everything will be ok. But how long
will you hold on for?
“He isn’t good for you”
You don’t want to hear it. It seems
like everyone, including your friends, knows something that you don’t.
You think and say “They don’t understand”. True. They wouldn’t
understand because they are not the ones in your relationship. They are
only observers, spectators. What would they know? Well, being the ones
on the outside of a relationship allows them to see the bigger picture;
they see what is actually going on and where things could be headed.
They provide you with reasons that are put into your perspective. Most
of these reasons make sense and might even reach you emotionally, but
that is as far as they will go; there will be no action taken. Then
why? Why are you still holding on to this relationship tighter than
that bitch’s hair like if you found out she was the one who he cheated
with?
“10 Percent”
There has to be a reason why you fell for him in
the first place. You know what ever it is that you saw in him at first
is still there, somewhere. You keep thinking he will change back to
that knight in shinning armor who swept you off your feet and showed
you what true love is. And so it is that reason you use to keep
yourself going, continuously fighting for what you believe in. You do
not give up until you have given up all you have just for that little
percentage of hope. Even though it might not happen, just the thought
of it happening is enough.
“Do you learn?”
How many times are you going to let him beg
you before you go? How many times are you going to let him apologize,
knowing he isn’t worth it? After all is done and said, you might look
back and actually realize what an arrogant insecure girl you were. You
then promise yourself never to let it happen to you again. And it does.
Why? Because. Just because. It is not something you can control or
choose to be involved in. It just happens and when you realize it, it’s
too late. You have already invested so much time and feelings that you
just can’t bear letting it all go again. So did you learn? I would say
you did. Others might say you didn’t; “Why is she so stupid? She’s in
the same situation as before”. The only reason why this happens is
because love is perplexing. Even though you learn from your past
experiences, you still always hope that this one will be different.
This one IS different.
I really hope so.
“Girl I jus don’t get it, do you enjoy bein’ hurt?
used and brushed off like dirt, knowing that it ain’t gonna work.
And yes I do understand why,
and yes I don’t understand why.
Why end each sentence with a sigh,
tellin’ yourself lies, when you've said your goodbyes.
It’s not like you havn’t tried,
you have and you cried.
Break up to make up smeared all over your face,
from the rubbing of tears, and the hurt that you taste.
Something you fear, good times shared gone to waste.
Weak in the knees thinkin’ of them memories.
It isn’t going to be, but you still can’t see clearly.
Blinded by your urge to feel comfortably,
within the arms of the one who has got you
wrapped around his finger but doesn’t have a clue
of the rarity and beauty that you do behold.
Yes you might be naive, truth be told
and you got to learn how to take control.
This way you can separate the good from the bad.
Stick to your decisions and don’t go back.
Just a reminder, I know this for a fact,
I'll always be right here to help keep you on track.”
(K.C. Cheng) | | |
| changed profile pic.
thought it would be more appropriate.
| | |
|
After we wine and dine, listen to Genuwine, im horny you horny, wan-na ride it, my pony
so forget the forty and pass the patrone, have a few sips then we head on home
the lights are dimmed and now we alone, clothes are off and so are the phones
breathin like you in pain, needin a respirator, my fingers make it rain so it starts gettin wetter
you leakin like broke plumbing, I fill up the hole to stop the water running
eyes are rolled, toes are curled,
sheets unfold, you on all fours
changing positions like changing socks
shaken and stirred like a drink on the rocks
got you addicted asking for more
cuz each one feels better than the other before
I take it out so we can breathe, sweatin so hard like we gotta disease
"babe you know I'm in it to please", that whisper in your ear got you weak in the knees
so I make like a rain drop drippin down from the top,
you get goosebumps from them unanticipated stops
reach my destination, now it's about to get hot....
| | |
| oct 2nd to nov 3rd. a month of me not knowing. ... blind.
| | |
| like you said before, you needed closure
so I stuck by to fight it like a soldier
to make it happen, to hold ya
u took notes from Missy and ms Cole
told me that you had to let it go
let go of what?
let go of the love
the appreciation
the respect
how does that make sense?
everything you just said
we're better off being just friends...
I thought you closed the door and we were smooth sailing
instead you sunk our ship but it happened slowly
the seas turned to quicksand
I tried to save us but kept failing
should have known all along
Letting go of what we have, what we could have
you're just gna let it go.
~nov. 3. 2007.
| | |
|
